Last night Mark came over to get the large photo I printed off for Kathy. She was so in love with that photo it blew my mind. I never can really see my work as anything worth being on someone’s wall! That’s for awesome photographers! I’m growing into that confidence slowly though. I am starting to see my work being displayed in places other than my monitor at home. I’m beginning to understand the love and effort I put into my shots deserves a place in real life.

We cleaned like we were crazy before Mark came over though. We are so bad about cleaning! In a way it’s a blessing that Jeremy is as messy as I am because neither of us is very uncomfortable in a mess. When we clean we understand we have let it go too long. I used to see the stark line between my dad’s organization and my mom’s chaos and the strain it put on their relationship. I’m thankful to not have that strain on us.

It’s really hot outside. I am supposed to walk home but I am tired and I don’t want to make the eczema patch on my elbow itch. How annoying. It’s a minor skin condition, and I’m thankful for that. We decided to go to the park tonight instead. I think I’m excited about bringing along my camera. I feel like I missed summer at the park! This may be one of my few chances left to capture summer at the park.

Jeremy and I have been getting our house into shape in the meantime. The 2nd bedroom which I had wanted to be an office and craft room is really shaping up! There’s a sofa, a campaign desk that fits us both, and a drafting table that I can do any sized craft on. There’s also a full sized bed acting as a daybed. It’s awesome. It’s also a cat free zone. Keeping them out of there keeps the place clean. I never realized how much dirt, hair and dander/dust a couple of small animals produce. It’s a lot.

This weekend I’m turning 28! You know, I really only enjoyed the last half of my twenties. I know my thirties are going to be an awesome decade so I don’t have any problems thinking about them positively. I was built for where I’m headed. Where I’m taking myself. Where the winds are taking me. To be at a place where I can finally say I trust my instincts and my decisions more than anyone elses, is a big thing for me. I’ve spent my entire teenagerhood and early twenties questioning whether I was doing the “right” thing and looking everywhere except within myself for the answer. If I had listened to my friends, my parents, and society I would be nowhere. Nowhere. I’d have married someone I didn’t care for, let go of things that define me, followed paths to unhappy dead ends. Once I started caring less about what people thought of me, and more to what I heard come from within myself, the sound was impossible to miss or second guess. It’s one of those “when you know, you know”.

I still have to lean so heavily on God for everything though. Which is as it should be. The direction and feeling of self assured direction doesn’t come from me. Every little thing I have is a direct benefit of the influence, kindness, work, and passion that rose from my family’s love for Christ. I can never forget that. It’s impossible. The way I fill with God when I think of Him makes me feel crazy.. and peaceful… and joyful. I never want to displease him. Even when everything’s going to shit. I know his presence in those moments. God is no different no matter who I am. I think that’s the best part. Rock of ages. Foundation for my soul.

🙂

Yay it’s time to go home!